Today’s headline reads: J.P. Morgan Chase Bans Buying Cryptocurrency With Credit Cards.
“At this time, we are not processing cryptocurrency purchases using credit cards, due to the volatility and risk involved. We will review the issue as the market evolves.”
That’s about as disingenuous as Jamie Dimon’s “bitcoin is a fraud.” Since when does the bank watch out for consumer risk and volatility?
“I’m sorry. You were attempting to place a bet on a 15 to 1 shot in the 7th race. J.P. Morgan will not facilitate that bet due to the long odds. How about that favorite, Sugar Biscuit, going out at 3:1 in the eighth race?”
Overheard at an Atlantic City casino:
“Damn credit card won’t work. J.P. Morgan says they don’t fund buying an inside straight.”
Message from the online escort website:
“Due to the risky nature of unprotected sex, use of this credit card without a condom is prohibited.”
Message on a pack of cigarettes:
“Cigarettes are risky business. J.P. Morgan credit cards should not be used in the purchase of cigarettes and other tobacco products.”
Bartender in an Irish pub to a customer:
“Your bank credit card won’t work here. Sometin’ about binge drinking and risky behavior. Don’t know.”